Dear Friends,
I woke up this morning to the news that Tina Turner, one of the greatest recording artists of all time, has died at age 83. I have never been a big rock 'n’ roll fan – I’m more of a James Taylor type – but I’m a huge fan of Tina Turner, a woman whose talent and courage and passion for experiencing life to the fullest made her a role model for us all.
I listened to one of her albums on Spotify as I was making coffee and was struck by the lyrics of a song she recorded called “Show Some Respect”. Here is the chorus:
We’ve got to show some respect
We’ve got to learn to protect
Don’t take it for granted, I know
That if you want to stay close
You’ve got to show some respect
Those lines could be a theme song for TTN. Respect is the glue that holds our community together. We have it in abundant supply, and I’m proud of that.
I have been thinking about this a lot. In the stressful world we’re living in – with confrontational politics, an uncertain economy and social media sucking up huge portions of our lives – I’m wondering how we can make TTN even more of a refuge, a place where we can find comfort and inspiration in the respect we show each other.
It's easy for a term like “respect” to become a cliché, something we hear so much that it doesn't have a lot of meaning for us anymore. What does respect look like, anyway?
I think listening, making a genuine effort to understand who a fellow member is, and what is important to her, is an excellent place to start.
Then there is affirmation, saying or doing something that shows her that you believe she has value. That she is important. That she is worthy of respect.
Genuine respect is based on a real interest in other people, an appreciation of the ways in which they are different from us. A wish to truly enjoy them. An eagerness to learn something from them.
And what about kindness? We all crave being treated gently, with generosity of spirit. When we are in need of some emotional or practical support – or even when we’re just moving around in our everyday existence – every one of us needs and deserves a whole lot of kindness.
The way I look at things, respect and friendship have a lot to do with each other. When you put them together, they generate a kind of commitment that I believe may be an important ingredient in TTN’s secret sauce.
There’s a line in a novel by Sarah Dessen that I wrote down once: “Hey, and for what it’s worth? Friends don’t leave you alone in the woods. Friends are the ones who come and take you out.”
Is TTN the kind of organization whose members will come looking for you in the woods and take you out? I hope so. As we enjoy getting together in our peer groups and special interest groups, as we participate in workshops and events, and as we collaborate with each other on committees and leadership teams, I hope we will be intentional in showing each other respect. I hope that over time we can learn how to get better and better at respecting each other, and being present for each other, in ways that every TTN member can count on.
I’m no expert in this area, by the way. I mess up all the time. Do you have ideas for ways in which we can raise the bar on respect in our wonderful organization? If so, please write to me at darla.hastings@ttnwomen.org. I would love to hear from you.
With respect,
Darla